Decor Catalogs à la Molly Erdman

Here is a dose of coastal catalog humor.

nautical entryway
"Our Entryway set-up is great! Now I never forget my hat, burlap satchel, or Life Preserver."

Imagine living in these immaculately staged coastal catalog rooms from all These Stores.
Comedian and actress Molly Erdman did just that with Catalog Living. Here are a few coastal style examples of what Molly's fictional characters Gary and Elaine have to say while living life in these decor catalogs.

large clam on table
"I keep this on the hall table almost exclusively for the occasions when Gary tells me to shut my Clam."

shells under table
"Leaving my Basket of secondary shells under the table allows me to rotate in new shells at a moment’s notice!"

outdoor table with umbrella
"Elaine was concerned that Gary was drinking too much soda, so she kept them by her feet at all times. To retaliate, Gary threatened to loosen the umbrella Buoys."

nautical rope bed
"Gary got the idea from a parking lot in New York. Sure the kids get Rope burns climbing into bed, but their upper-body strength is amazing."

starfish on shelf
"Gary! If these Oars even come close to knocking over a single one of my starfish, I’ll shove one inside you. And if you leave your tote bag by the chair one more time…"
nautical cushions in boat
"In her annual end-of-season ritual, Elaine sent the outdated summer Cushions out to sea."